EC Pong (Ici Fondue) - An Interactive Game for RMAs

🕵️‍♂️ CLASSIFIED: The EC Pong Terminal

​Welcome to the hidden breakroom. If you’ve stumbled onto this page, there is a high probability you are actively procrastinating on a Horizon Europe deliverable or waiting for the Funding & Tenders Portal to finish an endless maintenance.

You are in a safe space.

At Orientos, we manage EU grants for a living. We know the pain. So, we built EC Pong: a highly accurate, slightly traumatic, and entirely unofficial arcade simulator of the European Commission grant lifecycle. (And don't worry—we haven't been neglecting our actual projects; building this was just a 6-7 hour, gummy bear-powered sprint from afternoon to midnight!). Take a deep breath, stretch your typing fingers, and take out your frustration on some Work Packages and Tasks.

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🕹️ The Coordinator's Manual (How to Play)

Your Objective: Keep the budget ball bouncing, smash through all the Work Package bricks, and survive the Reviewer Boss to get your project successfully funded.

The Controls:

• Move the Consortium Paddle: Use your Mouse/Trackpad, Left/Right Arrows, or A/D keys. Best on retro desktop browsers, but fully playable on mobile!

• Pause/Resume: Press the Spacebar.

• Boss Key: Press Escape to instantly pull up a dummy report!

Choose Your Set-Up: Before you start, you can adjust the parameters of your funded project, like the number of partners, work packages, and reporting periods. When it comes to the budget, choose wisely:

• Actual Cost (AC): You must physically catch the falling timesheets and receipts with your paddle to claim your points. If they hit the floor, those costs are ineligible!

• Lump Sum (LS): Points automatically score, but the stakes are higher. If you drop the ball (lose a life), the Commission revives several of your completed tasks. It’s all or nothing!

Eligible Costs & Power-Ups (What to CATCH):

• Green Balls (The Consortium Multiplier): Catch these to temporarily split your budget ball into three! It’s highly effective for smashing through Work Packages, but just like managing a massive, bloated consortium, you have absolutely zero chance of juggling them all for long. Enjoy the productive chaos while it lasts!

• Timesheets & Receipts (AC Mode Only): These are your project's lifeblood. Catch them with your paddle to claim your eligible costs and score points.

• Clarification Paperclips: During the Periodic Review boss fights, the Reviewers will hurl paperclips at you. Do not dodge these! You must collect them to satisfy their administrative demands and pass the review.

Bureaucratic Hazards (What to AVOID or CROSS):

• Audits (Red Drops): Dodge these at all costs! Catching an Audit triggers an immediate, heavy-handed financial check, bogging your paddle down with paperwork and drastically slashing your speed.

• Defaulting Partners: Consortium collapse! When a partner unexpectedly bails, your paddle takes the hit by permanently shrinking or developing a gaping hole right in the middle. There are no fast-track replacements coming to save you—do whatever it takes to keep your budget from slipping through the cracks!

• The PO/FO Ceiling: That’s no ordinary wall at the top of the screen—it’s your Project Officer and Financial Officer. Hit the duo, and they'll "catch" your budget ball for a status assessment. After a frustratingly realistic delay, they will launch it back at you in a completely unpredictable direction. Be ready for anything!

• The Periodic Review Boss Fight: Brace yourself for milestone madness! Three floating Reviewers will descend on your screen, hurling those "Clarification" paperclips your way. Catch the paperclips to stay compliant, and use your budget ball to fight back. You must hit each Reviewer at least twice to satisfy their demands and clear the period!

• The Dreaded Audit Check: Just when you thought you were safe after the first Periodic Review, the Audit brick spawns. This is no ordinary obstacle—it’s a heavily armored bureaucratic roadblock. You’ll need to hit it multiple times to submit enough "evidence" before it finally dissolves and clears your path.

• The "Submit" Button Roulette: Consider yourself warned. Every time you click "Submit" in the menus, there is a 20% chance the portal will hit you with a hyper-realistic, completely unskippable administrative delay. Welcome to deadline day!

• Other "goodies": Hidden Easter eggs await—spot them as you play. Watch those buttons closely… the window of opportunity is brief.

Good luck, dear Coordinator (a.k.a. P1-COO). The entire consortium is counting on you!!!

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Mandatory Bureaucratic Disclaimer: Views and opinions expressed are however those of the author(s) only and do not necessarily reflect those of the European Union or the granting authority. Neither the European Union nor the granting authority can be held responsible for them. (And for the record, they definitely do not endorse turning Project Officers into an arcade ceiling).

NOT funded by the European Union 

Because apparently "retro arcade therapy" is an ineligible cost...

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